Or How My Teen Romantic Comedy Turned to a Dating Sim
by Chryshauzer
Summary: After another bump, Hikigaya Hachiman's life turned into a dating sim! Crack!
1. Chapter 1

**[Tomorrow I will be transferring over to Sobu Highschool! I'm so excited that I can't sleep early! I will finally reunite with my childhood sweetheart! I have changed from the passing years but I really hope that he still recognizes me! Heh heh.]**

I stared at the the floating message box in front of me, feeling anger swell up inside me.

It was ten in the evening and I was sleeping after a particularly tiring day. A day where I spent most of the time speaking to my school teachers and and new school staffs about my transferring in the middle of the semester. As a bonifide loner, one might have guess how stressful it was for me. And now when I'm in the middle of sweet sleep, this thing appears and wakes me from my much needed rest.

And what are those pile of lies? I haven't seen so much trash in a sentence before!

I won't be transferring so I could meet a childhood sweetheart. I will be transferring because this damn thing won't let me sleep and focus until I obey! I'm not excited. Not when I'm about to move to a new school and meet new people. Not at all. Lastly, have I mentioned that I'm a loner? Thus, such things as childhood friends are impossible to me, much less a childhood sweetheart!

I closed my eyes shut, wishing that the beeping sound of the message box would go away.

Just what the heck is happening?

You must think I'm crazy, and maybe you're right. Seeing floating words in front of you might be considered as the start of insanity. If that is the case, then I am definitely insane. I have been bearing this burden for a month, and maybe I have reached my limit.

But I would still like to say, I am not insane.

 **[Fufu! This will be my new start! I will make lot of friends and reunite with my childhood sweetheart! Ah, truly tomorrow would be the greatest day of my youth!]**

I cringed as I read the words displayed. This is so unlike me at all! Who in the world made this crap? Can't they at least portray me in a way that won't make me a stupid schoolgirl with high optimism (delusion)?! Also, who would make friends? I have gone for seventeen years without one and I'm planning to do so now! What the heck is up with this airhead character?!

Groaning from the thought of what I have to do tomorrow, I rolled from the uncomfortable apartment bed.

Please, somebody. Destroy this thing!

Ahhh! Why is this happening to me? I'm pretty sure I've never earned the ire of anyone - barring the entire school population - for them to do this to me!

Is this a curse? Yep, this is definitely a curse. Am I cursed to live like this forever? Controlled by an airheaded supernatural force?

Get a grip on yourself! I slapped myself, washing away the remnants of sleep. I won't lose to this piece of crap! I beat all three Darksouls, like hell I would led a shitty game bring me down!

No, I'm not crazy.

My life just turned to a dating sim, that's all.

 **[Just you wait Hachiman! We'll see each other soon!]**

I grit my teeth and forced a smile.

Hachiman, huh?

I'm going to punch that bastard!


	2. Chapter 2

Have you ever dreamed that your life was a game?

That you would surpass the limitations of life's reality with the help of a game? To improve your stats above a normal human and devastate the enemies with your supreme skills? Or to just make life easier when you apply the two aforementioned things?

Back in my childhood days, I have dreamed of it too.

That my life would turn into a game and I would raise my charisma stat and make friends. Then I would raise my strength to beat the evil guys. My high intelligence would allow me to create futuristic gadgets to help me in my quest to be a hero. While maintaining my secret identity from my friends by wearing glasses and having a cowlick.

Pfft, what an idiot I was.

Having your life as a game would be awesome, yes. But it would also place you in a pedestal where you could never become the same again. Your perception of the world would change and you would wonder if you're insane.

You would no longer relate to other people and grow even distant to humanity.

You would most likely gain standards that no human could attain. You would be living in a different world.

Then you would realize the simple things that you can never return to.

 **[Seventeen years. It's been seventeen years that I've been living miserably]**

Who the heck are you calling miserable?!

I grit my teeth in annoyance and grabbed the nearest object I could and throw it towards the floating blue box less than a meter in front me. The empty plastic cup passed through the object like air and bounced lifelessly on the floor.

The object of my horror remained with its catchy beeping tune.

 **[Hmm, maybe I should take up a hobby or find a part time job. If I continue my current lifestyle, I would end up as a good for nothing adult.]**

I'm going to be a househusband damnit! And I won't find a job! I am perfectly happy in my current lifestyle. In fact, I was happy until you appeared!

I collapsed on the hospital bed and stared at the ceiling with tired eyes. Why the heck is this happening to me? I sure as hell did not do anything to earn anyone's ire for them to curse me!

Being criticized by a supernatural force resembling a naive highschool boy with high expectations of society, just how far have my life strayed from the path? In the first place, why did I get stuck with a character that doesn't even portray me correctly? Whoever made this must suck in writing. Even more so than Zaimokuza. He must be a lonely fan fiction author with nothing to do while he waits for his semester to start.

Tch. What a loser.

Anyway, I should focus at the task at hand.

The blue message box floated in front of me without any change. Its mocking words made me want to beat it to a pulp. Unfortunately, I can't touch it.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. The realization that I'm not hallucinating starts to dawn. Holy crap, my life has turned into a game!

Hey, can I change genre? What am I stuck with this crap? I bet Hayama is now starting his journey to save Azeroth from Illidan. Why the heck am I stuck with a crappy narrative game huh? Hey! don't ignore me you idiot-author***

Huh what am I doing again?

Right, how I should deal with this problem.

Hmm, although I somehow remember blaming an incompetent***

Huh, what was I thinking again?

Oh, right. I need to explain what happened and how I got into this situation. I don't know why, but I feel that I need to.

Anyways, after a festival where I somehow got roped in helping someone I can't seem o remember for the convenience of plot, I was on my way home. It was late and I was tired, so naturally I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings.

I remember looking at the fireworks on the sky that night.

I was hit by a bike and hit my head on the concrete ground. I passed out shortly and was helped by the speedy response of an on duty police in the area. It turns out that the rider was a little intoxicated and didn't see me on the road.

The kind nurse told me that I've been unconscious and were in comatose for five days. During that duration, it seems that I've had many visitors, as joked by the nurse. And by the way, the nurse was a male, not a sexy female one that would fulfill my every desires so get your mnd out of the gutter.

When I woke up several hours ago, which was 2:00 AM I was greeted by this blue message box narrating the cliche response of a protagonist waking up to the white ceiling and smell of medicine while wondering how he ended up here.

Cliche, right?

I was scared at first. I really was. I ended up falling on the floor and crawling to a corner while the blue dialogue box followed me. My fear died out some minutes later after I read some of the stupid lines from the damn box.

Who the in the world wishes for their whole class to go visit them in the hospital?!

An idiot normalfag, that's who.

Somehow, I ended up figuring that my life had somehow turned to a game after I hit my head in an accident. How very original, author-san. Let me guess, you're gonna follow up with another cliche and introduce a transfer girl who was a childhood friend, huh?

 **[Now that I hit my head, I remember my childhood days. Back then I always spend my days with my childhood sweetheart. But she moved out of town when we were ten.]**

"..."

 **[I remember promising to marry her. How embarrasing. She told me that she would marry me if I get a high paying job and give her a loving family.]**

Oooooiiiiiiii?!

What the heck is with this sudden development?! I don't remember having a childhood sweetheart even after hitting my head! What the heck are you talking about you shitty game? And that last line, are you still suggesting that I get a job?!

Shitty game! This is nothing but a game full of shiiiiit!

 **[Ah, I wonder where she is? Does she even remember me? Will our promise turn into reality one day?]**

How can she remember when it didn't even happen?! I bet she doesn't even exist! Stop making things up about me and go back to whatever sick and twisted mind spawned you!

I groaned on my bed and ignored the beeping sounds. How can I continue my life with this new addition? I am certain that I am the only one who can see this thing, so that basically means that if I told anyone about it, they would judge that my accident did something permanent and that I should be locked up in an asylum.

But what about its effects?

Did whatever this is game me powers or something?

I considered for a moment before turning to the discarded plastic cup on the floor. My heart started pound again and excitement filled me. Is this the realization of my dream?

"Observe."

"..."

"..."

"..."

 **[It's just a cup.]**

Right, how idiotic of me. Even this stupid system mocked me for it. I get it already, I've no superpowers. There is nothing else aside from the floating box with filled with stupid words, I know.

Expectations always brings disappointment.

But damnit! Why can't you give me something else?! Can't I get eyes that can see through clothes or mosaics or even those that can penetrate the light and steam that always covers the good parts?!

Why do I have to be stuck with an annoying naive highschool boy trapped in a dialogue box with a habit of making things up?!

I am Hikigaya Hachiman, and I'm not crazy.

But my life just turned to a lame ass game.

* * *

It was seven in the morning when the door to my room opened with a loud sound.

Grasping the knob with messy hair and blooodshot eyes was my sister Komachi. It looks like she have been crying based from her appearance. My cute little sister was so worried about her brother and came here as fast as she came after being informed that I woke up.

"Onii-chan!"

My sister cried out as she ran towards me, her arms outstretched. I did the same and smile at her.

 **[Gah! It's my evil sister Komachi!]**

My smile froze.

 **[This girl is the reason why I'm like this. If she hadn't been spoiling me rotten since we were kids, I wouldn't have grown up to be a dependent and unreliable guy! This girl's reason for existing is to take care of me!]**

What in the world is wrong with you? How could you call someone as angelic as Komachi, evil? If it hadn't been for her I would have gotten used in eating crappy takeout foods half of my life! Apologize to my sister and die immediately, yout shitty game!

"Ah, Onii-chan I was so worried! You were asleep for so long and wasn't moving at all... I thought, I thought that... fueeeeeh!"

My sister sobbed and her tears soaked my hospital clothes. How unbearable, this sight of her is! And to think she was so concerned for me!

 **[A. I'm sorry for making you worry, little sister.]**

 **[B. If Onii-chan were to make a full recovery, let me sniff your pantsu!]]**

 **[C. ...]**

The blue dialogue box appeared with three choices. I look in surprise and tried to utter a word but not sound would escape from my mouth. It's like I have no voice.

Komachi seem to notice my dilemma and stared at me in worry.

"Are you alright, Onii-chan?! Should Komachi call the doctors?!"

No. no, I'm fine! That's what I tried to say but no words escape. It feels like the more I try to say something that aren't in the choices, the more harder it becomes for me to breathe. Kuh! What a life threatening side effect!

Choosing the first option, I voice out.

"I-I'm sorry for making you worry, Komachi! I-I'm fine!"

The dialogue box disappears and everyrhing was back to normal. Do I need to do that every time I speak?!

My sister peered at me with with doubtful eyes.

"Are you sure Onii-chan? You looked like you were in pain just now."

I waited for the blue box to appear but it didn't. I heave a sigh of relief. It seems like it will only come up if there are choices to be made.

But... what is wrong with the second option?! I know I've been called a siscon a few times, but that's taking it too far! Are you really wary of your sister or are you a siscon, you shitty game!

"Y-yeah. I'm good."

Just like that, my life had changed.

It was several hours later that two visitors came.

My parents arrived some minutes after Komachi and took me into their embrace. Right now they were talking to the doctors of my condition while Komachi was out getting me food that were not from the hospital. It took a great effort to convince her that I was fine.

I was playing a game in my phone when someone knocked. A moment later my two clubmates entered the room. It was Yukinoshita and two of them took a moment to look at me.

"H-hey Hikki."

"Hello Hikigaya-kun."

An uncomfortable silence was broken by a beeping sound. My eyes widen in horror as a ble box appeared.

 **[A. Yo.]**

 **[B. Hurry, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama! Let me smell your panties!]**

 **[C. ...]**

Again, what the heck is up with option B? Why is the choice smelling their panties?! Is this game perverted too aside from being shitty?! Option C is the the same as the first one, aren't I only given one choice to begin with?!

Silently cursing the stupidity of the plot, I chose option A.

"Yo."

It seem to be the right choice as the two girls revealed varying smiles. Yuigahama was cheerful was Yukinoshita was relieved.

"Thank goodness! I was worried that Hikki would get amnesia and won't recognize us."

"Well now, it seems that you are still you."

 **[These are my clubmates. Yukinoshita Yukino and Yuigahama Yui. Yukino-san is a kind girl who wants me to do my best while Yui-san is a smart girl who always encourages me.]**

Wait a moment, what's with this totally wrong and late description? When did Yukinoshita become kind and Yuigahama smart? Also, why are you addressing them with a polite tone while using their names?

"Huh, I get the feeling that you expected me to get amnesia."

The two girls averted their eyes for a moment and coughed. It totally seems like they talked amongst themselves and thought that I would come with amnesia. These girls...

"We visited a day ago, but you were asleep."

"Really, this is your second accident. Do be more careful from now."

The two of them dropped their gifts on the nightstand and engaged me in light conversation. They talked about school related subjects and I immediately winced. I know that I missed a few days of school, meaning that I have a lot of work to do in order to catch up, but I don't want any reminder of it! Just let me lie here in peace!

Aside from the two of them and Hiratsuka-sensei, no one else has been informed of my accident. There goes my hope of getting visited by Totsuka in a nurse outfit. Che! Where is my blessing in disguise?!

On the other hand, maybe it was better that only a few people know of this incident. Who knows what would happen if they all come here. My useless skill might do something that I cannot hope to control... like professing my undylng love for Totsuka.

Ah~ Totsuka! If you would accept me, I will work hard as a politician and create laws to bypass the strict gender acceptance for marriage in Japan! I swear I will do it!

"Hikki are you listening?"

"It seems like he has gone somewhere beyond our reach."

Huh? The voices of the two girls brought me back to reality. Was I spacing out again? Geez Totsuka, you always make my mind wander te~he~

I shook my head to clear the impure thoughts of a certain angel in my head. The girls were telling me to take it easy and not to do anything reckless. Hah. Considering it was me, I wouldn't do anything at all! Unlike riajuu - who should just explode - we loners don't tend to do anything because we mainly kept to ourselves! This is one of the many advantages loners have against normalfags!

Loners: 1 Riajuu: 100

Huh, why does it seem that I still lost somehow?

"I think Hikigaya-kun needs some rest, seeing how his focus keeps disappearing. Yuigahama-san, we should visit another time."

"Eh? Well, Hikki is a little quiet today. OK Yukinon!"

Yukinoshita stood up from her seat after saying while Yuigahama immediately followed like a dog. The two of them said their farewells while I only nodded, hoping that no more blue boxes would appear.

Just when Yuigahama left the room, Yukinoshita hesitated and remained.

"Hm? What's wrong?"

Curious, I asked. Yukinoshita walked over to where my phone was and held it in her hands, pressing the screen with her careful hands. A moment later, she returned the device to me.

"Seeing how you might collapse when given the school work you've missed, I'm allowing you to ask me for help via call. Do not mistake my kind generosity for other purpose. And please do not even think of sending anything inappropriate. Get well soon, Hikigaya-kun."

The black haired beauty nodded with a red face and finally left me alone in my room. Huh? Did Yukinoshita just gave me her number?

 **[Yukino-san gave me her phone number! I can now call her and ask her for dates!]**

That's not how it works! Didn't you hear what she said? Stop making up things and treating my life as a dating simulation!

* * *

 **[A. Good morning sister, what a wonderful day we're having!]**

 **[B. Fufu, I can't wait to go to school! I wonder how many panty shots I can take!]**

 **[C ...]**

It was three days after getting discharged from the hospital that I was returning to school. Three days where constant decisions has to be make lest I faint from not choosing anything.

I've said this before, but this games is full of shit.

Aside from bringing me a delusional high school boy's thoughts and desires, it has done nothing of benefit for me. I couldn't find a way to stop it from appearing and I am left with no choice but to believe that either a crappy writer was making fun of me or the rom-com gods were having the time of their lives.

"Good morning Komachi, what a wonderful day we're having..."

I greeted my little sister who was preparing our table for breakfast.

"Geez Onii-chan, the level of sarcasm on you today is overwhelming!"

In those three days, I have managed to figure out how this game works after trial and error and with the help of a certain chuuni obesessed in dating sims. There were several rules which I had to abide or else I would lose consciousness or be assaulted by absurdly loud sounds from the system.

First rule is that never choose option B, it was always full of useless answers. Often being perverted or dumb in nature.

Second is that option C is unpredictable. Depending on my luck it would either say good or bad things. Like when my mother asked me what would I prefer and I answered 'a cute tennis player' when she was asking me about the sweet or spicy flavor of curry.

Third is that when I don't choose any option in the dialogue box in 30 seconds, I would faint in the spot. It had happened several times and I had to convince my family that I was fine and they did not need to send me back to the hospital.

Fourth is that this game is full of shit. The narration is bad and sometimes it would skip explaining the situation and make up the most absurd explanations. One being 'Now that I hit my head, I can now remember wanting to watch those R-rated animes.'

What a shitty game...

"Well, just remember to take it easy in school, Onii-chan. We don't want you fainting again!"

After fainting two times in the hospital and three in the house, I am ware of my family's concern in my health.

"Yeah, yeah... I'll be careful."

I was chewing the delicious fish cooked by Komachi when I heard faint beeping sounds. Thankfully, it was not from the shitty game but from my phone.

Whether it was good or bad, I do not know.

In front of me, Komachi was grinning with sparkling eyes.

"Ohh, Onii-chan is that, Yukino-senpai again?"

Yukinoshita Yukino. That girl have been seriously weird recently. I know that I'm the one who asked her some questions when I was doing schoolwork, but she has been texting me constantly giving book recommendations and such!

Oh well, I'll ignore it for now.

* * *

My return to school didn't went unnoticed. Mostly.

It seems that even though my class has magnificently forgotten my existence, Hayama and his clique weren't part of them. They gave me a strange look when I entered the room and their leader seem to want to talk to me. Go explode you bastard.

As soon as I went in my seat, Hayama retreated from his peanut gallery and headed towards me.

"Hey Hikitani-kun, where have you been?"

The bastard whispered as to not attract attention. It obviously failed as his presence alone was the focus of the entire class.

A blue box appeared with a beep.

Oh no. No, no, no.

 **[A. I wanna punch your teeth in.]**

 **[B. Them's some fighting words!]**

 **[C. ...]**

What the flying duck? Does the game have some ill harbored feelings for Hayama? Why the is it showing now when we were the focus of the room! How can I possibly say those without being beaten to death by Hayama's lackeys?!

29...28...27...26

Crap, the countdown had already started?!

I can't faint here! My family would seriously make me stay in the hospital if I lose consciousness in school! I don't want to become a lab rat!

Although this choice is hard... let me choose option C.

"Meh, some family business..."

The words that came out as a whisper were not weird or even suspicious. It's a typical answer of someone who does not want to explain fully about what happened.

Luckily for me, Hayama accepted my answer with a nod and went back to his puppets. Thank you you glorious bastard!

I made a sigh of relief and sat on my seat.

I survived an encounter... for now.

The class soon started with our room adviser - Hiratsuka-sensei - coming in along with the math teacher. Huh, what's with this? Does she have any announcement?

"Okay guys, I know it's weird but due to some circumstances, we have a transfer student in our class."

Huh, a transferee this time of the year? Well it doesn't really concern me.

 **[In the future, I would look at this memory with a fond expression...]**

My eyes widened as the blue box appeared. The same time as a purple-haired girl walked in the classroom with a stiff face and black bags under her eyes. The girl scanned the room, her blue eyes focusing at me.

Her lips broke into a grin.

"Hello there~"

Without any word, the transfer student strode towards me, each step filled with purpose.

Then without any warning she punched me squarely in the face,

The classroom descended in silence as I blinked my eyes, a stinging sensation in my right cheek. I could barely hear Hiratsuka-sensei calling.

"Sarayashiki, what are you doing?!"

 **[... it was my reunion with Saya-]**

"Oh, nothing sensei... just saying hello to Hachiman, my-"

 **[-childhood...]**

"-sweetheart."

This is still a ducking cliche you shitty game!

* * *

 **So hey there. It's just me, bringing another crappy story in an attempt to wave off boredom. Yeah, some of you might recognize me from writing other crappy Oregairu stories (sorry!) but this one takes the cake. This is basically a crap that was formed in my head after an attempt to write the next chapter from another one of my stories. Yeah, don't ask me how it ended up here. I sure don't know myself. Don't expect serious tunes as this is crack with out of character characters and another original character. Huh.**

 **So anyway, just bear with me. I'm bored.**


	3. Chapter 3

[ **Oh! I can't believe it! My childhood sweetheart from ten years ago has appeared back in my life!]**

Me too. I can't believe it myself...

It was during the third period that the shitty game turned active again. The blue box full of shitty words blinking in front of me as if it were a Christmas light. After abandoning me when I needed its explanation, it returns as if nothing happened, filling me with infinite annoyance.

Yeah, getting punched in the face does that to you...

I turned to my left in order to give the person responsible for my stinging cheek a glare only to find that she was already glaring at me with her insomiac face. Sarayashiki or whatever her name was weren't punished after assaulting a fellow student.

See how unfair society is? A pretty girl punches a stranger's face and gets away without any trouble by just saying 'Oh this guy is my childhood sweetheart.' I bet that if I fight back and punch her in the face I'd get my ass kicked by my enraged classmates and then get dragged to prison by the police and drop the soap in prison. Just where in the world is the equality here?

'Look, they're staring at each other again!'

'It seems like those sweethearts can't wait to get reunited.'

'Lucky... I wish someone would punch me in the face too..."

Want me to punch you in the face?! I took a deep breathe and ignored the 'discrete' chattering of my classmates. It seems that they have found some interesting topic to wave off sleepiness in class.

I stared at the blue box hovering lazily. I was punched, why haven't you done something to make me feel better? Doesn't the Gamer powers usually prevent pain to clear the user's mind from any distraction?

 **[Ahaha, I remember Saya always hurting me when we were kids.]**

So you're completely useless! What the heck, were you bullied by this person back when you were kids? Is this how your turned delusional? To forget the trauma you've had when you were a kid?!

Grumbling from the uselessness of it, I focused in the lesson. If anything, it might distract me from the comedy that has become my life. Just how will it take for me to turn insane, I wonder.

The droning voice of our teacher made me want to sleep, but I feel that Sarayashiki will use that excuse to wake me up in a rude manner and actually get away with it. How annoying, I don't even know her but I already hate her.

My eyes widened.

I don't know her!

I do not know any person named Sarayashiki Saya!

If that is the case, who on earth was she? And how did she know me? This shitty game said that she was my childhood sweetheart but I don't even think I've seen her once in my life excluding today. That makes the question of why she called me her childhood sweetheart!

Was it simply coincidence?

Of course not. My life is being played by a guy who just want to make fun of me to feel better about himself! Of course it was this shitty game's fault! Did it somehow turn its delusions into a reality? Or worse, is Sarayashiki decretly a devil out to claim my soul?

Gah! Should I be running for my life now? If the shitty game says it, I would bolt outside of the room and run towards the sunset!

No wait, back to the topic Hachiman.

She clearly called me her childhood sweetheart. That means that she probably has some idea on what's happening. Worst case is that she's crazy and mistook me for someone who she used to bully in her childhood. Best case is that she has some idea of my situation.

I turned towards my left again and saw Sarayashiki glaring daggers at me while muttering curses in a language I couldn't even recognize.

Do I really have to talk to her?

o.O.o

Öur fourth period was vacant.

I have already made up my mind. Surely, someone as crazy as her could not murder me in a place full of so many witness. Even if she has a good alibi. Wait, does being childhood sweethearts count as an alibi?

Using that chance, I immediately stood up from my sit with the intent of confronting Sarayashiki.

Only to see her striding to me with a murderous expression.

Is it too late to run away?

My decision was made for me when Sarayashiki grabbed my arm and started to drag me outside of the room. Whoa, for a girl she sure has a lot of strength! I can feel the collective gazes of my classmates focusing as we leave.

Okay Hachiman, you know the basic rules. You have a lot of witnesses. If she has a bladed weapon concealed in her form, you should run and scream like those people in crappy horror stories. If she has firearm on her... pray to whatever god you believe in.

Oh my gosh I don't wanna dieeeee! Someone save me! I still haven't lived my life to the fullest! I wanna try not laeving my room for a month and have my parents yelling at me to do something productive~!

Before I knew it we were at the rooftop where I trashtalked Sagami... wait, how did she drag me by the stairs without me noticing?

Sarayashiki let go and pointed her index finger at me. Does she not need any weapon? Can she kill me with just her finger? Is she a spirit detective? Can she perform ray-gun?!

The wind blows, making our clothes and hair move dramatically. A blue box appeared in front of me.

"Fess up you bastard, what did you - erk?!"

Sarayashiki choked air for a moment, her eyes going wide! Was she having trouble breathing? Or was she preparing to release her final form?

She looks likes she's trying to struggle. Honestly, it was a little disconcerting. Maybe I should call the food delivery service?

After several seconds, her eyes lost their light as if she was surrendering to a greater force that was controlling her body. Her body went limp and she took a deep breathe -

"Hachiman, I missed you~"

Her lovely words were delivered by a voice full of anguish and despair... what? I took a step back. Although what she said conveyed her feeling of desire from our long time separation, her expression was saying that she would like nothing but to murder me.

"What the heck are you trying to - gehurk!?"

I grabbed my throat as if I was having a hard time to breathe. In front of me, a blue box appeared! Oh no, not now!

Sarayashiki watched me struggle, realization dawning in her eyes.

 **[A. Saya, I missed you too!]**

 **[B. Embrace her.]**

 **[C. ...]**

Option A would force me to do what she did a moment ago. Option B would force my body to move and hug her. While there is no telling what would happen if I choose option C, I might say or do something even worse than the first two.

Giving up all semblance of a fight, my body went limp, my eyes closing in defeat.

"Saya, I missed you too..."

My voice was heavy with defeat, as if I was forced to give my sweetrolls to a riajuu. My sigh seem to release a small part of my soul.

But wait... why do I feel like I'm missing something?

"You... could it be?"

Sarayashiki mumbled as if she discovered something. I turned to her, the same realization dawning on me. Her reaction just earlier, it was just like me... could she be...

I stared at Sarayashiki, was she cursed like me? I had to make sure.

"Sarayashiki... did your life... turn to a game too?"

Her blue eyes widened as soon as I uttered those words. She suddenly grabbed my shoulders and shook my body!

"You know about it?! Tell me, how can I get rid of - Mou Hachiman~ I thought you've completely forgotten about me!"

Her question was cut off before she could finish. From the pained grimace from her face, it looks like she's used to this.

"I really have no idea to be honest. I've just woke up from an accident and by then it was already active. By the way-

 **[A. I can never forget you.]**

 **[B. Saya-chan, please sow me your panties!]**

 **[C. ...]**

\- I can never forget you."

Just like that, I've found another one who carries the same burden as me...

o.O.o

In the end, the two of us decided on a temporary truce.

Sarayashiki and I have agreed to talk about this after school and think of a way to get rid of it. I was relieved to know that I was not going crazy at the very least.

As of now, the two of us were heading back to our classroom. I don't care if someone sees us, we've already made enough of a scene anyway.

"Ah, is that you my comrade Hachiman? Tis' the first time I've seen you since the battle. Where have you been?"

Appearing before us was a wild Zaimokuza. I bet this bastard was going to head off to the nurses office in order to skip class. Tch! At least let me join!

I intended to wave him off, but the sudden appearance of a blue dialogue box stopped me. Oh no, what would this shitty game make me say?!

 **[A. I was imprisoned for 10, 000 years.]**

 **[B. Banished, from my own homeland...]**

 **[C. ...]**

I paused in panic. What the heck is up with these choices?! Don't tell me this game is chuuni-friendly?! What the heck am I supposed to choose?!

Sarayashiki, figuring out my predicament, laughed as if delighted to see someone suffering the same fate as she was. I figured that she would leave me to my fate but she instead walked some distance away and watched. An anticipating smile on her face,

You, you sadiiiiiist!

No good. Options A and B are difinitely chuuni answers. Don't fail me, option C!

"Imprisoned for ten thousand years..."

My voice took a deep tone as my mouth automatically moved. Wait a minute, didn't I choose option C? Why am I saying option A instead? Oh wait, I'm not done.

"... banished from my own homeland..."

Ooooiiiiiii! Why am I saying both options?! Aren't I supposed to invent a random response or something? That what option C is for, isn't it?!

"...and now, you dare enter my realm?"

Stooooop! Some passing students are looking at me weirdly! Please, stop already!

"You are not prepared..."

YOU JUST WANT ME TO SAY THIS CRAP DON'T YOUUUUUU?!

My control was finally given back and I stared, horrified, at what I've done. I can hear the whisperings of some students and despite my resilience from idle chatter, my face still turned red.

"Nng!"

Zaimokuza took a step back, his face sweating at my words. Was it too much even for a chuuni, like him?

"H-Hachiman, I see that you've turned amazing during your absence..."

What the heck is with your response?! It was soooo embarassing! I wanna die! I wanna die! I wanna die!

"Pfft... hahaha..."

A soft giggle made my head turn.

Some distance away from us, was Sarayashiki. She was barely containing her laughter. My face burned from shame and anger. T-this bitch...

"Ah... Hachiman, do you know her?"

Zaimokuza spoke timidly. Oh right, this person turns completely useless when facing strangers. What a loser.

"Well she can introduce herself for all I care."

I intended it as a joke, but the sudden horrified expression that Sarayashiki made struck me. She was staring at the space in front of her with cautious eyes.

Don't tell me...

Her expression morphed from horrified to completely aghast. Oh, there's not doubt now. She's seeing what I was seeing a few moments ago. Hehehe. I smirked as Sarayashiki stared at me. She tried to run but her body froze just when she turned her back to us.

Oh right. Whenever the dialogue box appears, you have to choose. Trying to run is futile as your body would be completely paralyzed before you complete the action. Whatever choices she has must be pretty horrifying.

Well, she can always faint...

After a few seconds, Sarayashiki turned her body to face us. Her face forcing a smile... were those tears from the corner of her eyes?

"H-hailing from the lands full of l-love a-and peace... I s-shall bring justice a-and... sniff ... joy... I AM MAGICAL GIRL SAYA!"

Proclaiming it loudly in the middle of the hallway, several stares were sent her way. Sarayashiki gritted her teeth and walked away stiffly. It's as if she had been in this situation so many times.

I can't even make fun of her... this is just painful.

o.O.o

By the time of our lunch break, several rumors were floating around about Sarayashiki and me.

I didn't pay it any mind, seeing that I'm used to rumors. Sarayashiki on the other hand seem to have accepted her fate and left our classroom, probably to get away from everyone and eat alone.

I can feel many eyes on me. It seems like I am rather well known now.

Yuigahama has been staring at me since the start of class, she seem to want to talk to me but something was holding her back. Well, I think that's good. If the shitty game appeared and made me choose from something like Zaimokuza again, I'll just choosed to faint.

I grabbed my bag and headed to the place where I usually eat lunch. Near the tennis club where I can find my angel smiling.

The trip there was short and nothing weird happened on the way, which was good.

Still, I have to ponder about this development.

I'm not the only one cursed by this shitty game. Sarayashiki was also a victim like me. She most likely have this game from some time seeing how she is able to resist it to some degree. Just how long have she endured this...?

Thinking of this, another thought floated.

Could it be... that the reason she transferred here was because of this shitty game? Was it forcing her?

This just got really bad.

I've experienced fainting when disobeying the rules. Just what could force Sarayashiki to bend and obey it? Just thinking of what it can do sends shivers down my spine. This... this is more serious than I let on.

This isn't just a shitty game. It's a curse. One that can force us to do something we do not want to... just thinking of the possibilities makes me dizzy.

Just how much of our life can be controlled by this thing?

The choices I had been forced to make in the past had been embarassing. But what if this curse can make even more horrible choices? What if the next time it appeared, the genre was no longer a shitty rom-com?

My hands shook from fear.

Just what had Sarayashiki imagined when the curse forced her to transfer schools and meet a stranger that was decided to be her childhood sweetheart?

What if the next time I faint, I don't wake up again?

I-I think I've lost my appetite...

"Hey, Hachiman~!"

I flinched as I heard a voice calling for me. It was Totsuka. His soothing presence did nothing to ease my mind from the scary thoughts.

 **[This here is my classmates, Saika-san. She is part of the tennis club and quite a cutie too. I'm really lucky that she's my friend!]**

She? Even after my delirious thoughts, I still noticed the mistake. D-did Totsuka's cuteness tricked even the author's creation?!

"Y-yo, Totsuka

My classmates beamed at me. Normally, it would fill me with happiness. Now I can only feel dread from what's about to happen.

"Huh, you're alone? I thought that you were eating with Sarayashiki-san. She's your childhood friend after all."

"O-oh? She has to make a call."

Totsuka nodded at my blatant lie.

"Really? A shame, I would have wanted to meet her. A friend of Hachiman from the past... she must be a character!"

His words send shivers in my spine.

"Hah hah... quite the character... yeah."

Oh Totsuka, how I wish you could calm me down right now. Seeing my half finished lunched, Totsuka was worried.

"What's wrong Hachiman? You've been absent for two weeks and you're not even eating properly. Are you sick? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Totsuka really is cute...

I was about to wave off his concern when the blue box appeared. Only this time though, it seem to be more ominous.

 **[A. Yeah, I would like to put it in.]**

 **[B. Put it in.]**

 **[C. ...]**

"T-Totsuka..."

My oblivious angel tilted his head. I- can I even do this to him? No! T-that is not worth it. Forcing someone against their will would just turn me no different from this game. Let me choose option C.

"Mind if I put it in?"

"Eh?"

 **To be continued...**

 **o.O.o**

 **Hahaha, so there's a cliffhanger for you! That's what you get for not flushing the toilet... eh? What was I saying again? Anyway, this is still humor so imagine what you want Hachiman to do. But the question is, will he put it in?**

What do you guys think? Maybe you can suggest something to improve the game system that is now Hachiman's life. That would be appreciated.


End file.
